A Special Thought on Being a Father

My Personal Note: This is what I do when I'm not in the kitchen cooking, I write. After a long day at work I went into my journal and browsed through the pages. Interestingly, my last entry was on June 10, 2010 - Father's Day. And so, since it's Father's Day today I would like to take some time to share my thought on being a father. 

I dedicate this page to my two wonderful kids; Francesco and Chiara, without whom I will never have a chance to write this article. To you, Eco and Era, I am forever thankful to God for bringing you into my life.

A Special Thought on Being a Father

 

It’s been eight years since I began a journey of a life time. Of those eight years, I have been constantly grateful to God for bringing my kids into my life. I see now how I progress on my journey as a father. I see my baby steps, the mistakes, the failures but along side I see the big leaps, the triumph, the joy that has made me proud of myself and the choice that I embraced. My first year of being a dad was focused on how my  kids will survive the first three difficult years of their life, years where they are most fragile and delicate. So all I care was to provide a good shelter for them, healthy food, and making sure that they are always safe and happy. And now that we survived those years and my kids are growing faster than I thought, I am taken to the next level. My being a father to them has given a new task, a new shape, a new focus. I need to be more than a provider. I need to be a teacher, a guide, an example. I need to be a visionary, always looking beyond years, always looking forward without leaving behind the present too quickly.

It’s not easy to be a father. And in my case, it is not easy to be me – being a father. I have to fit in to two roles of being a dad and mom at the same time, not one at a time. When my kids are just a year old, I nourished them with sleepless nights when they were sick – only a father or mother can feel how it is to see your kids shivering. You have to stay awake. And when they were two and three, I protected them asleep or awake. I carried them, walked them through and always to the rescue when they were trying to walk then stumble. Although I didn’t witness their first step, I witnessed the countless steps they made and I promise them that I will be there when they make more bigger steps in the future. When they were four, I taught them many little things. I laughed with them, played with them, sing and danced with them – everything that a father can do for and with his child. The following three years after that were even more exciting. Their going to school has opened so many doors of possibilities to them. They became inventive, adventurous, smart, but they have not forgotten the values I instilled in them. Now, they are ready for more challenges. The world has opened wide its door to them. They will learn many new things in school but I should teach them all the important lessons in life that they need to learn – only their father can teach them.

I have missed a couple of things in being a father when I was not with them but it’s not stopping me to become the best dad for them now and for as long as I live. It is a vocation that has no end. I owe to my kids my joy of being a person I am right now.   They placed me for where I am and for who will I be for the rest of my life. I have read this saying that goes, “any man can be a father but only a special man can be called a dad.” That will leave me in awe of the mystery of fatherhood. When you give life, it returns to you in abundance. My kids are my greatest treasures and being their dad is my greatest happiness. It cannot be bought, it cannot be traded of, it cannot be taken away from me.

(Most part are from Soliloquy #61 / San Jose, CA / June 20, 2010 - Father’s Day) 

My Super Heroes

Finding a Balance

I have a very close encounter with an accident this morning. Three cars got into a collision, mine was supposed to be the fourth one. The skid from the car in front of me signaled an impending clash. And all of a sudden I saw the three cars bumped into each other like a torte cake. I imagined an over easy eggs smashed flat in a skillet after tossing them.

I was shocked, not at the scene before me, although it was supposed to be shocking for most of us, but at how composed I was. The level of calmness I exuded was surreal. It makes me thinking where that composure in the midst of a seemingly frantic moment were coming from. It was not just that incident that put my nerve into test. I've been in a roller coaster ride for the past several years. Somehow, I still find a balance between taking care of my worries and moving forward as to what lies ahead.

Looking back, I knew where the sense of balance springs from. The many years of practicing meditation is paying off. My life in cloister is like a process in cooking where you pick out the freshest ingredients and preparing all the spices do that when you toss them in the pan, you will surely strike a balance of flavor. The practice of mindfulness has taught me to center my thoughts on the present moment, to stay focus and not loose attention for what is happening before my very eyes. Just as cooking demands undivided attention to attain the savory balance on the food, life - with all its complexities demands unwavering attention to the everything that surrounds us.

What really makes a food outstanding is the balance that the palate distinctively finds in every bite or chew. Life offers a variety flavors and it is up to us to find a right balance despite overwhelming odds..

Umami Veggie Taco

It was a perfect day at the beach. The sun was shining brightly, the sea breeze was cool but not biting cold. There were so many people everywhere. It was festive in the eyes.

I didn't hesitate to accompany my friend, Myra to go to Santa Monica Beach to meet someone. We drove the long stretch of Wilshire Boulevard all the way down to Ocean Boulevard. We found a perfect spot to grab some coffee before going down to the beach but it was taking a long time for the server to give us a menu so we decided to transfer across the street. After enjoying a cup of coffee at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, we went ahead to the port but we realized that it's lunch time so we checked out a couple of places to eat until we found the Blue Plate Taco. We chose the patio to get seated in order to enjoy the scenery. It was hard to decide what to eat when you're not hungry. Myra had a steak taco and I went to a lighter dish - Flaco Taco, a taco in a lettuce cup. I wanted to try them all so I ordered one fish, one chicken and one vegetables. The steak taco that Myra was eating looks delicious. Mine was nothing special, the chicken and fish were just okay, until I took a bite in the veggie taco. Oh boy, was it heaven? The flavor was delectable. There was mushroom, onions, kale, grilled corn and something else that I was trying to know. It was certainly an 'umami' veggie taco for its distinct flavor. As I was enjoying that one piece of veggie taco, my mind was filled with the usual play of substitution. If I were to make the same taco I would use other ingredients or add other components to make it my own. I would add a braised banana heart (puso ng saging) as a filler. It will surely add an interesting flair in its rich taste. I will top it with crumbled Kesong Puti of Laguna (white cheese), which is a popular local cheese made from carabao's (water buffalo) milk. It is fresh, soft and delicate. I can't wait to make my own version of this taco and maybe, just maybe, make a kesong puti to complete my version of it.

And just as we thought we had more time to walk along the beach, we realized that it was time to head back home. We, however, spent a little time at the port taking some pictures and enjoying to watch the calming waves of the beautiful open sea before us.

I will surely come back soon to Santa Monica Beach for a good walk by the sand and to hunt for more delicious food that would stir up interest to my palate and my soul.

My Mise En Place

One of my greatest passion in life is to write ... to be able to express my soul in written form, something that people can read and use as a mirror that will reflect back their own journey as they tell my own.

I have been writing before, long before computers and hi-tech mobile phones have occupied my time and interest. I have been writing with pens and papers. My writings, compiled in a box of journals and loose papers or whatever I can use at the moment (yes, table napkins and sheets of tissue rolls included) have become my own therapy when sanity is threatened by outside factors of life's challenges. I wrote about my travels, my adventures, my faith, my dreams, my hopes, my aspirations. I wrote about the people I've met, the ideas I thought of, the joys and pains of living a life that I have tried so faithfully to follow. However, I got lost in the world of modern technology. I surrendered myself to the gadgets of ease and convenience. And my pen and papers have been put away, forgotten in the midst of my busy life. I was swayed away from my love for writing. I stopped being me - reflective, intuitive, creative.

"Mise en place," that is "putting in place" refers to the French classical discipline of organizing and arranging the ingredients for cooking as in preparing and setting up. This phrase has a lot more meaning to me now than I first encountered it years ago. As a chef, I know exactly how extremely important it is to "mise en place" before putting the pans and pots into work.

The world is a big kitchen and life is a dish to make. It's a special dish. In order to make this dish nourishing and delicious, a good "mise en place" needs to be done. Yes, we sometimes run out some ingredients, or some turned bad, some might not be readily available or sometimes ingredients do not seem to suit the taste for a flavorful dish. That is why a good "mise en place" is needed in order to anticipate necessary changes or adjustments in ingredients, utensils or even the cooking methods to be used. This couple of years that passed, I have been bad in my "mise en place." I survived though, following one challenges after another as a result of my unorganized "mise en place." And I admit, I have a couple of regrets but whining over my past mistakes could not recycle the dish or save it from being wasted. The good thing is that life is a continuous process of putting everything in place.

My "mise en place" is about the journey we take and the hopes we still dream about. It is about life - of travel, of prayer, of food - triple pod of fun. While as a chef, my writing will be around culinary adventure I will, however, write some things of general interest from time to time. I will also pick up some leaves from my past writings that I feel like sharing to my new found friends here. And with the words of Julia Child, ”Learn how to cook, try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless, and above all have fun," I welcome you to my kitchen of scribbles, shapes and shades.

Welcome to my "mise en place."